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Pictures Of Recently Enjoyed Things


my tiniest favorite booger and me and a tree. 

dark walls. 

windy beach days. 

playful beach days. 

he annoys the crap out of me, but i love him. 

that half week of a cold front we had. i miss it. 

farm girl.

natural magic. 

man made magic. 

days for exploring.

pinks and greens. 

no photo mood kind of day. 

this wall makes me happy. 

How has your week been? Mine has been slowwwww but semi productive. I haven't gotten out of the house a much as I would have liked, but I did accomplish and work on those really tedious tasks that no one actually wants to do. The problem with many of those tasks is that its hard to see the end product and so I end up left somewhat unaccomplished, haha. Oh well. 

Looking forward to the weekend. And 100% for next week when Marlowe and I have some of our favorite people coming into town. It'll be a good time. 

I hope you guys have a great weekend! <3<3

On The Road


I've always been a road trip girl. From the time I was super young (around Marlowe's age-- maybe sooner, maybe later) I remember being plopped in the car for short and long trips. Surprise drives to Disney with my dad, cross country trips from Florida to Canada with my grandparents. I spent countless hours in the car looking at maps. I could spend forever looking at maps. I've always loved the factual nature but also the endless ideas and possibilities that maps offered. I would track our drive the entire trip-- every trip. I wanted to know where we had been and where we were going. I wanted to plan out every single alternate route that we could take. Routes that we probably wouldn't take-- but we could, if we wanted. Looking back, it all makes sense. Every different metaphor I could (and can) use on road trips and maps makes sense. Detours and road blocks unseen, alternate routes, scenic views and must see stops. Me on the road makes sense.

I didn't rush into getting my license. In the time I was supposed to be taking driving lessons, I was making my own trip. I had decided to (and my parents had let me) make the switch from my high school in Massachusetts to the a new high school in Florida. I wanted to see what life could be like journeying elsewhere. I stayed a year and a half before heading back home to Massachusetts for the last year of my young adult high school year and then moving to Rhode Island for college--- away from Massachusetts forever.

In this time in Florida I took my drivers test. Twice. Failing the first time, for failure to reverse properly. Though all metaphors I could offer on reversing in my own life, would actually say I'm just as talented at going backwards as I am at going forward ;) My second time around, I nailed it. And I've been on the road since then and forever. My first trip was hardly a road trip, but still an adventure. Pouring rain on the highway to Miami and all the way back home. Memorable nonetheless.

When I decided to head back to Massachusetts for my senior year of high school my dad did the drive with me. Led Zeppelin, Bob Marley, and The Doors, on repeat the whole drive north. In Massachusetts again, weekend road trips became the norm. Rhode Island, Vermont, Montreal, wherever I could go.

Face-timing with a college friend this week we discussed everything past and present. I mentioned my love for road trips. His response?

"Nahhh, you? haha.  'Hey Drea want to drive to New York to spend 9 hours there just to drive right back?' You: 'YES"


I swear I spent more time on the road then I spent breathing. Always exploring. Always running.  Easily punching in up to a thousand miles in a weekend, driving south to New York and back north to Vermont before having to make it to class on tuesday morning in Rhode Island. I wanted to go everywhere.

I had my first car accident in Rhode Island. 7 am, with my roommate in the car. We were both unharmed, but the car was totaled. Hardly reaching a speed of 30 miles an hour and the car was totaled. Insurance to the rescue, and I was back on the road--- in a used and mostly working Volkswagen.

When I decided it was time to leave college, I was tired of snow and ice. I knew I needed sunshine. On the map I placed an option for Florida and Arizona. Never even visiting Arizona, I packed my car and headed west. Driving through fields and forests and finally dessert plains-- until my car caught fire in Colorado. Near a small ghost town, with not much but an old diner and one car repair shop to offer. 13 hours later the parts were replaced and I was back on the road. I lasted almost a year in the dessert and cactus filled mountains of Arizona until I made the drive along the boarder, right back to Florida.

Where I've been ever since.

Living in South Florida doesn't lend itself to road trips. We're stuck in this sort of middle ground where any journey out takes too much time to start. My current life doesn't lend itself to road trips either-- given my location and spending the last six years with people who don't care for the long drive out as much as I do. But if you were to stop and ask me now, "Are you ready? We're road tripping."

I'd jump in the car before I even ask where we're going.

That first car I got? I walked into the dealership with my dad. We picked out the perfect car to match my needs and his as well-- though to be honest, probably more of my needs were met. When the paperwork came and the necessary car insurance questions, the dealer asked what the next step would be and I did not know. I turned to my dad not knowing much about what insurance looks like or what it would exactly mean or what would be best--- because really, I didn't know much of anything. My dad, without much of a second thought or a concern said, "Let's call Esurance, we'll get you out of here and driving home tonight." And we did. And I kept Esurance, and never found a need or concern to leave them. A decade and a half later, I'm still on the road-- except now with a better understanding of how insurance works, and prices, and with a much higher concern for the lives that my car holds. I still want to go everywhere, but I want to be safe and take care of the people closest to me in the process.

This post is in partnership with Esurance-- which really has fit my life and met my needs from the first hour of me buying a car... and on.


From quote to claim, Esurance is working to help you make smarter, more efficient choices with your home and auto insurance. Using state-of-the-art technology, they offer a seamless online and mobile experience along with intuitive tools that help take the hassle out of insurance.

Time Away


To say that my life is a little bit complicated right now, is an understatement. It's super complicated. Not bad, just complicated. A bit confusing too, but mostly just complicated. I felt like I was finally stepping out of limbo this past month-- but the reality is I'm still here. I have no idea what the next year is going to look like or even the next month. I feel like I've been patient in limbo for a while now, but I'm starting to get antsy. I'm fighting that overwhelming feeling. Some days are sort of easy, but it's sort of tough right now, in this very moment.

I'm still not questioning my choices. I still know that this is the next best step forward. And what will follow, will follow. I will be okay. Life will be okay. We'll all be okay. I have to keep telling myself that there isn't a magic moment of release-- where all of a sudden everything will be clear----that things will slowly change and one day I wont be in limbo anymore. I mean, there might be that magic moment... but I have to tell myself there isn't. I dont want expectations or assumptions. Expectations got the best of me for far too many years. Lack of assumptions and expectations has kept me sane and happy for over half a decade now-- and I want to keep it that way. Don't take that as 'lack of hope'. I've got plenty of hope, I just function better without expectations.





I'm not looking for a thrill or adventure, I'm just looking for movement. For that shift.

Right now, trying to find words to say (type), I feel grateful to no longer suffer from high anxiety. Years ago this limbo space would have driven me insane. I would have displaced my anger into my home, into my mood, into everything. I mean, I did completely rearrange Marlowe's room and today, but it was more in a fung shui way, not a high anxiety way. It was to make the space something that flowed better, it was not to displace my tension. The few tears I've shed were justified. The fears I still hold are justified. I no longer fight the suffer from my own overwhelming anxiety and it feels good. It feels good to feel rational. It feels good to stable in the limbo.

But I still want to get away from this limbo feeling.




And I will.

I just have to continue being patient.

I worked and waited almost two years to recover from illness. I can wait a few weeks or months or however long it takes to move past this in-between state of being.


Alex says it best. He's right, he's so right. I'm a rolling stone. I've never been one to settle in one place. I've never been on to commit to anything. While there are people who crave the security of pattern and routine, I like the shift. He told me, "I knew it when I met you. You said you wanted a relationship, but I knew you'd never settle." And he was and is right. I've never done anything 'as I should' -- things I thought I 'should have' -- it still amazes me when I see that I got married, own a house, and have a kid. I mean, those things all sort of make sense, but how I actually ended up here, sometimes I don't know.

He's right. Good or bad, I am a rolling stone.  
I'm not sure whats next. I have a few set dates in the calendar-- friends visiting, weddings, etc. But outside of that, I dont know. I've chosen to allow myself a slower pace since getting sick. Well, it chose me, and I've chosen to accept it. I'm hoping to plan a few short getaways, another one with Celia for sure--- and maybe our girlies too. I don't know. Right now, I'm just looking at each day as time away. Time away from what exactly--- I'm not sure, but time away from demanding too much of myself and whats around me. Whatever is happening right now is enough.

I hope you guys are having a good week. Sorry if I'm bit here and there, life is just a bit here and there for me right now. <3


photos by celia d. luna on our trip to Antigua Guatemala last May. 

C. Difficile (C. Diff.) / Gut Repair Supplment + Book Resource Guide


Hi friends. It's the weekend, and I neve really post on the weekend, but here it is... a post. While I realize most of you don't and won't have c. diff---- some of you will. Or you will have family and friends who are dealing with c. diff. If you haven't checked out my post on what to eat and not eat on c. diff, I'd highly recommend that too. I truly hate that so many people email me for c. diff advice. Not that I hate the emails or giving advice-- I'm super happy that I can offer even the smallest bit of help, but I hate that so many people are suffering from this deadly and unnecessary antibiotic superbug. I'm hoping this post will help bring a bit more help to those looking for it. And of course, my email is always open too.

I'm going to go ahead and say it for every one of these posts, but I'm not a doctor. What I am offering here is support and advice that has worked for me in my trial and errors of c. diff and gut healing. My gut is still not 100% perfect. C. diff can cause life long damage to your body... but that being said, overall I do feel exponentially better than I did before. Go with you gut instinct-- it's there for a reason. If something doesn't feel right, trust that feeling! Here are the things that helped me, hopefully they help you too!

Ps. I'm totally one of those people that think it's better to skip the processed stuff... even the "healthy pills" and opt for whole natural food to fill and recover your body. But I know c. diff tremendously depletes and destroys so much that it's really not easy to naturally fix everything. You body doesn't absorb stuff like it used to and it wont for a while. So I understand the place in turning to processed supplements for support. All that being said, these are all my as natural as possible recommendations. The last thing your body needs is more toxins to process-- it's already struggling to rid itself of c. diff. If you go out and buy supplements for your gut, try to buy the ones with the least added in ingredients. K? Cool.


SUPPLEMENTS

A good soil based probiotic- theres a lot of conversation out there about different types of probiotics. Quality, quantity, variety, etc. THIS one has 100% hands down worked best for me. My body and stomach functions best with it. The first three days of taking it my body detoxed pretty hard and I felt flu like and sick-- three to five days later my stools were normal again for the first time in over a month. I still take this probiotic daily.

If you're in the middle of fighting off c. diff, then your doctor probably recommended for you take s. boulardii. If not, they should have. It's been shown to do extra damage in fighting off c. diff spores.

DGL powder- (licorice root): great for gut repair. You can buy in capsules too, but I've found that most have added fillers that you don't want to add to your body. Make sure to find one that is pure DGL. I also like the powder because it's super easy to add to a smoothie and doesn't taste terrible or anything like that. Here's an article about licorice root if you want to read more about it. I used to also add a bit to Marlowe's smoothies when she used to have that awful preschool cough. It definitely helps.

Slippery elm powder- similar to DGL powder, slippery elm is very soothing on your gut. Super natural too.

Spirulina Powder- this is great to take overall, c. diff or not. It's a great detoxifier for your body. If you haven't already tried it, it does take some getting use to as far as taste, but overall it's a really, really good thing for your body.


I'm slightly hesitant to add these last two as one of them I never personally tried, but have been suggested a lot lately, and the other I tried, and while it has it's positive traits, it also has it's negatives too. But I'll list them and you can do your research and see if they would be a good supplement addition to your healing time:

MSM- So I haven't personally tried MSM so I can't say with certainty if I'm for or against it, but it appears to be a seemingly good and safe product. MSM is known for it's joint pain, but it's been said to help repair the gut as well.

L-Glutamine- is an amino acid found naturally in your body. You body needs it to function. And it has been said to help with leaky gut and aid in balancing mucus production in your gut. The down side is that recent research has shown that cancer and tumors feeds off excess L-glutamine in the body. So while it can be good, go forward with caution and in moderation.


BOOKS

Self Healing For Crohn's And Colitis- I found this book tremendously helpful in terms of diet and healing. My thinking is that if the die and lifestyle changes listed in the book could heal crohns or colitis, then it could certainly help aiding in gut repair post c. diff. I was right. The changes I made after reading this book made an enormous difference in my overall health.

The Body Ecology Diet- this book and the suggestions made are less extreme than the other book, and maybe not as powerful, but this book is still helpful regardless. And a good resource for anyone who has recently been on antibiotics. I've one dose of antibiotics can alter your entire microbiome for an entire year-- and if you've been battling c. diff you know how powerful and high dosage of antibiotics you've been taking-- you're obviously set up for some serious damage. This book can help with that.

80/10/10- another great resource for the ideal diet of natural probiotic rich foods.

I had an incredibly amount of really terrible side effects and symptoms post c. diff, for MONTHS. While sometimes really *out there* this book, Medical Medium helped understand those symptoms and offered reassurance the diet changes I was making were for the best.

Alright friends-- as a second reminder: I'm not a doctor (and I dont play one on tv). This is just my personal thoughts and opinions and things that works for me. If interested, you can see all my post c. diff food posts HERE.  <3<3<3 I hope this helps some people out there in the world!

Life | I Want To Live Outside


Hiiii friends! I've been sloppy with posting lately. I used to post every night around 11 pm or every morning at 7 am, like clock work, but lately I just can't get on a schedule. I mentioned it before, but I think the biggest thing that has contributed to my lack of consistent blogging is my new abundance of sleep... so like, even though it makes me sort of lazy, it's really just a good thing. I could use some extra sleep right now. I've been teeth grinding a bit more this week (a year later, I still do that everyday since my visit to the hospital). Still not sure what it is-- not parasites, not stress, seemingly not anything else. But anyway, I'm on a sleep tangent.

Things are good. I know I keep saying it, but the weather is great. Marlowe still wants to be home schooled. My life is still sort of all over the place. And I still just want to travel every day and obsessively look up flights each week. Thinking west coast is on my agenda for upcoming trips. Yeah, things are good. I have a lot to say and nothing to say at the same time. I'll write more later. For now, I want to get off the computer and get outside-- basically my life mission lately. Honestly, thats my biggest pull to Guatemala-- that all the houses are strutted to use natural air instead of AC, that the windows are just open, that you feel like you're outside, even when you're inside. I wrote about it before, but the living in one box and driving in another box to visit another box thing drives me nuts. So I am grateful when the weather cools down enough here to keep the windows open at least most of the time.  I was too sick to enjoy it last year. So you better believe I'm soaking in every bit of it this year. Life is short, enjoy it.

a walk down a mountain after driving up a mountain. see more photos: HERE

That's Miss Celia-- the photographer of this post. I got to see her face yesterday too. overtime I basically just try to convince her to live next to me. YOU CAN DO IT.

chocolate haters, but gilmore girl lovers.. I guess we can hang. 


just like me... always finds the animal she can pet. 


Being super tuned out and lazy at Molly's house. 

luna y luna. 


more outside please. 


my lady.

Celia and I both saw a psychic yesterday. One of those ones with a table set up on the sidewalk. It was random, but fun. The psychic took paypal, so it made sense. Haha. She said some interesting thingssssss.

Hope you guys are having a great week! I'm going to run and take care of errands (more uniforms for Marlowe, bananas for me, etc etc.) then be outsideeeeee.

ps. Sharing c. diff resources this week. Super exciting, right? Nah, but maybe hopefully for those of you with loved ones fighting it. Hopefully.

See more guatemala photos: HERE.
And more c. diff. posts: HERE.
And a baby goat post: HERE, because I wa just scrolling through my blog looking for something and Alex stopped me to say, "wait, was that just a whole post on a baby goat?" YES, YES IT WAS.

Happy thursday!

photos by celia d. luna.